Do you love me enough to hurt me?

This past few months have been pretty hard for me. Not only being sick as hell with something that i didn't find out until recently what it was, and learning to deal with my children while being already physically exhausted. i have recently learned that i from somewhere picked up giardia. Which while isn't terminal or anything, is still pretty life altering. especially when you have had it for eight plus months.

Anyway, lately i have been in such a hole, that thoughts of my death were actually pretty vivid. And thankfully being the masochist that i am, when i get into these moods, the best way that i know how to cope, is through pain.

When i was younger i was an extensive cutter... blaming my scrapes on the bryers that i would encounter in the woods where i lived. The pain that i feel when i am in my darkest hours, frees me, and brings me to the light. And last night was no exception. While i was driving home, i sent Sir a text that read:"Sir if it's possible i need you tonight..." And this is the result of that need.

Monday May 10, 2009

Sir has been toying with the idea, of letting His darker side show. Which i am all for. It brings U/us closer together, and lets U/us share something so intimate. And W/we have been playing with biting for some time. And just recently discovered that Sir gets extremely excitable when my teeth sink into His flesh. And i am quite the sucker (no pun intended) when He sinks His own teeth into my neck.

When i first saw this pic, i was dissapointed. W/we wern't anywhere near finished at this point, and i have had more severe pics then this.

This one however, i could appreciate more. you can see the indivual cane marks. At this point i was so far into my sub-space, that everytime the ratan met my skin, my entire body shook with absolute pleasure. i have never been so close to having an orgasm, with spanking being my own stimulation.

Then came trusty Red... i do not rememember how long any of this lasted, or how many of anything that i recieved. All i knew was i was getting higher and higher with every blow to my already red, sore bottom.

Right after that we took a small break like we usually do, just to reafirm that we love each other, and that Sir is proud of me. Also at this point he will usually ask what i want. At this point i told him that i did not know. And he held me and told me that he loved me. and i looked up at him, with tears in my eyes and asked "Do you love me enough to hurt me?"

And then the real beating began... i didn't think until after the fact what the neighbors were thinking hearing very loud slapping sounds followed by yelping, and loud crying... i often wonder what i would say if i were confronted by the law... it matters not.

"Property of The Big Bad" As you can see, the final resault was brutal. Even as i right i can still feel the burn from last night... And it tells me that no matter what i go through, no matter who has wronged me, Sir will always be there to be my saving grace...

i love you Sir, with every atom of my being... i would be nothing without you...

Thankfully Mr. T is the sharing type...

So i know again i haven't written in quite some time... And i'm not going to give you some bullshit story about how life is hectic, and busy as hell. It is end of story. But i am not here to complain about how hard life is. Quite the contrary. i am here to tell you about one of the few things in my life right now that are absolutely wonderful...



But i get ahead of myself... let me start at the beginning. A while back sometime in the summer, Sir and i went up to our old stomping ground before we had children to see some old friends. And coincidentilly ran into Mr. T. i was ever so happy to see him if only because i hadn't seen him for a while, and W/we both enjoy His company. Well when we started talking he mentioned that he had a girlfriend. And He was ABSOLUTELY smitten with this girl. i must admit i was a bit jealous, but was also happy that he had found somebody to make Him as happy as he seemed to be with her. He above many others deserves to be happy.



Anyway, i had been dieing to meet her (especially after he told me that she figured out that she was bi), and one night he called and said that she was going to be at His house. So Sir and i took a little trip, and went to meet her. i will call her bright eyes.



When i first walked in the door, and saw her gorgeous body, i was in absolute awe... Trying to keep myself together, because first impressions are everything. But upon meeting her, i knew i would like her right away... i had only hoped, because i didn't figure somebody with that beautiful a body would want anything to do with somebody that looks like me. And even still, it warms my heart to know that there are still people out there that aren't shallow, and can overlook certain aspects...



Well as time went on, i had invited them both down for my new years eve party. And down til the very last minute i was sure that they weren't coming at all. Just becuase she had been on a plane all day, and it was a two hour trip down here. But Mr. T. called me and said that they were on their way. Well my heart skipped a beat. i again had to tamp down my excitement. i had dreamed that they would come down, and i would get to taste that sweet pussy of hers... but again, i would have just been happy to be in her company again, to learn more about her... just to be given the chance to look at her face again.



Well as the night went on, the alcohol started flowing more readily. After midnight, a few of my party goers... ok well pretty much all of them decided that it was time to go to bed. All the lights were out, besides maybe my christmas tree, and Mr. T. and Bright eyes were making out in the living room. When i heard my name, and a "come take a look at this"



ohmygods!!! i got to touch her, to inhale her... to taste her. i felt like the Gods were smiling down on me that night to be able to admire such a beautiful woman, and show her how much i admired her. i had completely forgotten how much it felt good to be able to touch another woman. To kiss another womans lips. i hadn't realized how much i had missed it, until i was able to do it again.



i kissed, and sucked, and licked that delectable pussy until i had blisters on my lips. And was ready for more. And let me tell you that i being the person that i am, was QUITE satisfied being able to assist in pleasuring somebody that i think is WAAAY out of my league... But there was certainly more to come... Because until my bright eyes, i have never had another girl WANT to pleasure me in return... i mean i have had girls been demanded to go down on me, but it was never the same. And there will always be a special place for her in my heart just because she is the first, and only girl as of yet that is more then happy to return my favor.



At any rate, just recently She and i have been able to get together just Her and i, without the distraction of O/our significant, male counterparts. As much as W/we love them, there needed to be a time when there could be instruction, and learing without trying to be asthetically pleasing, and trying to get off at the same time. Because when Sirs are around, there are camaras everywhere, and as concious as i am with my body it is hard to keep myself beautiful (at the very least to myself) and concentrate on pleasing and being pleased...



Last friday, W/we got that opportunity. i got there about 11, and was sooooo nervous on my way over... i didn't know what She would be wearing, i didn't know how i would be greated... there was a lot of things that i just didn't know. But when i got there, she greated me with lots of hugs, and it was just very nice, very welcoming.



W/we sat on the floor in the living room, and watched some tv, and the next thing you know we were down to bras, and well panties for her, and skirt for me... (only because i don't normally wear panties.) The sheer joy that i get when O/our lips touch, when She keeps Her lips on mine for what feels like an eternity, is completely indescribable. The way Her skin trembles, and goosbumps underneath my fingertips, is something you think you would only dream about.



And again, me being me was expecting to give first and then recieve, however she got me off first, and then we both got hungry and decided that we were going to burger king. i was not expecting at all that i wasn't going to give Her what she readily deserved, and wanted right away, that i was going to "owe Her one" but none the less W/we were both starving.



When W/we got back though, clothes again came off in a hurry, and we teased Sirs a bit by sending them various pictures, and video messages via cell phone... And i again got to taste the honey between her soft pussy lips until Mr. T. got home from work... funny thing is when He got home He knocked on the door, and She and i were a bit busy on the floor... i wasn't getting up because i had my face buried in better then chocolate pussy, and she well... wasn't getting up for obvious reasons... hehehe And i am sure it took all His willpower not to just drop trou. right there and just fuck the shit out of Her. But He being the way that he is, was EXTREMELY understanding, even when we brought out the double ender, and were going at it that way like mad, he kept his composer. Which i am extremely grateful for... Because when we were riding that thing, pussies grinding against each other, it was a complete different level of pleasure that i have ever gotten. Not only was i fucking myself with the wonderful contraption, but being able to be fucking a gorgeous woman on the other end, while our pussies rubbed together, and being able to see the absolute pleasure in Her face was just such a turn on... it was absolutely amazing. And i can hardly wait to be able to do it again...



Thank you my dear Sirs for trusting the both of us enough to play together without supervision. Thank you Sir for letting me go in the first place, and thank you Mr. T for the ability to share the wonderful treasure that is your significant other...



Also thank you my bright eyes for feeling comfortable enough that i could come over, and share

an update a year long in the making...

Saturday January 3, 2009

So i know it has been quite a long time since i have posted anything, and i am sure my lurkers have all but given up on me... However Sir and i needed to take a hiatus, for the simple reason that W/we got pregnant. And since this was the first pregnancy after the loss of our second child, bondage, and spanking of any kind ceased all together. For the sake of myself, and my unborn child, we just didn't want to risk any of that.

However we had another beautiful baby girl. She weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces, and was 20 inches long. And is very healthy.

But on to the real reason that you are here. Sir and i have gotten back into "the swing" of things. There has been a few gentile spankings, and certainly none to document. But This new years eve Mr. T and his wonderful girlfriend came down for O/our New Years Eve party (also my birthday). It was her first time, to eat a girl's pussy. And i must admit, it didn't feel like she was a beginner... it felt sooooo amazing! i told her that she was the best birthday present i have ever gotten... And i was extremely flattered that she would want to have anything to do with me at all. Because i am not a small girl, and Sir enjoys it that way... you can't spank somebody with no ass it just doesn't give as satisfying a smack. But she has this absolutely amazing body, one that i thought i would only see in my dreams, or admire from a long distance. Had i her permission, i would post a picture, but for now you will just have to deal with mine.

So as i was saying, Sir and i have been trying to get back into the loving BDsm relationship that we are used to. And last night was the first real spanking since we found out that i was pregnant. And these were definitely photo worthy...

i was able to handle almost all of them. Until Sir got my thigh as hard as my bottom... i was in my sub-space, until then, and was enjoying my Cane.

i don't like to brag, but i am so pretty with tears in my eyes...

i absolutely love that you can see the individual cane marks. And i will have welts for the next few days.

i know Sir loves this picture as much as i do. There is just something about a beautiful round red ass, and a cane... mmmm

just remembering makes me want a cigarette...

hello all. i know it has been quite some time since i have posted... and i wish it weren't so.. however Sir and i are on a bit of a hiatus from too much of anything rough... well except for Mr. T... *giggle*

W/we met Him again on Tuesday of this week. It was another spur of the moment thing, but none the less, it was amazing. It is an exhilerating feeling to be in the middle of two absolutely wonderfully talented men. It is not really a feeling that i will ever get used to. And honestly, i never thought i would EVER feel that way either. i am pretty selective about the males that i let sleep with me. Strange for a submissive i know. But i respect my body enough to be selective. And i already had a profound amount of respect for Mr. T, and i had always found Him attractive.

But at any rate, Sir and i went over, and it was a bit more relaxed than the first time, which i was thankful for. i layed on the bed, and it was like hungry lions getting ready to pounce on a willing prey. And for a moment, Sir left, and he told U/us to 'get warmed up' which i thought was a little odd, but i wasn't complaining either. But i laid there next to Him, while He lifted up my skirt, and to His surprise, i wasn't wearing any panties... but then i told him that i never wear any... and when Sir came in, W/we all had a pretty good laugh about it...

So after they both had a turn at my already drenched pussy, and had a really intense orgasm, Sir got behind me, while i was over Mr. T . i couldn't help but smile, as i watched Him watching me get fucked from behind hard by Sir. i love to please, i can't help it. Just knowing that i still have the ability to ignite the fire in the loins of any attractive, more experienced person than myself is always a big turn on for me... and with Mr. T, it is no exception. i absolutely love having a dick in my pussy, fucking me hard, and one shoved in my throat as far as i can possibly take it... which i think i managed to get all the way at least twice... and it makes my cock sucking ability better. And the better i am with Mr. T, the better i am with Sir... everybody wins!

Then They switched. And like before, Mr. T pumped me pretty hard... although at one point i moved, and made Him miss. i found later that i managed to get damaged... ouch, but at that point i was so full of endorphins that i was just enjoying getting the hell fucked out of me, with Sir in front of me... i can hardly wait until after this baby gets here. i have been promised DP. It is not something that i have ever experienced before, but have always wanted to. Sir and i have just never found another partner, that W/we felt comfortable with for that. And it was Mr. T that brought it up... i was over joyed, even though i tried to down play it a bit.

But, like always, i had an amazing time, and i know Sir did as well. He always enjoys when i am happy...lol and i don't think i have ever let Mr. T down so... fun for all ^.^

Thank you again wonderful Sir's! i always enjoy being your play thing...

Thank you especially Sir for lending me out... i love you very much ♥

The Mr. T experience

Just as a forewarning, this has absolutely nothing to do with my blog. However, if i don't put it in words i am going to burst... at least i have no nuts to bust or something...
ANYWAY...

Tonight W/we met one of Sir's friends. I am going to call him Mr. T, and hope he doesn't get offended...lol i have known Mr. T for a few years. He was always very sweet to me, and always made a fuss about me when i was pregnant with our firstborn. And He has always had a way to make me smile.

Tonight was really no exception. When we got to His place, i think Sir was expecting me to make a first move... and me being the submissive that i am, shied away pretty hard. i am sure that i blushed pretty hard. This was going to be the first time that i had two males of anykind, much less two Dominant males.

Sir laid me down on the king sized bed, and got things going, and Mr. T laid beside me. He has a moustache, so i wasn't quite sure how to kiss him... *puts head down* but He kissed me as Sir went down on my pussy. And when Sir came up, He went down, while Sir kissed me, and played with my estremely sensitive nipples... it took me a little while... i guess i was a bit nervous... i got over it though...

After one amazing orgasm, it was time to be on my knees. Sir got behind me, And Mr. T got in front. Let me first say, that when i go into these sorta things, i don't go in expecting anything particular. However let me say, i wasn't dissapointed... in fact i was pretty delighted with myself because i could get the entire thing in my throat... Sir is not small by any means of the word. In fact there are times that i have trouble with Him. He and Sir were joking a bit about finger cuffing me, and i giggled, and he tapped my face, put His cock back in my mouth and said "I didn't think you mouth was for laughing... there that's better. I don't see you laughing now." With Sir fucking me from behind, and Mr T's cock in my mouth, and a vibrator with an anal cover on it was extremely exhilerating and an extreme turn on.

Then Mr. T got behind me, and played with my clit, while hammering my ass with the vibe... and every time i let go of Sir with my mouth, He stopped!! And then when they switched, i was just in awe... i felt a little guilty after though when Sir told me He saw the expression on my face... New pleasant experience... i can't help it that i was enjoying myself... Usually when we have these types of excursions, it is Sir and i tag teaming somebody. So i am not usually the center of attention...

So while Mr. T was pounding into me, i really needed to come again, so i put my hand down to play with my pussy, and he pounded me, and i tried really hard to suck on Sir... i couldn't take it anymore, and came again REALLY hard... i tried to not scream, which i know i failed at... And Mr. T came, and i rolled over and Sir came on my face...

The experience truely was the best out of any of the ones that W/we have had. At least where i am concerned. Thank you Sir's for a wonderful evening! i hope to enjoy it again sometime.

Thank you Sir, for loving to share me as much as you do. i am so very lucky to have you, and i thank my lucky stars everyday... i love you so much... ♥

After much deliberation, the vote is in...

Okay, yeah i know that was really bad with the upcoming election and what not... but hey i know you love me anyway...lol

At anyrate, The much deliberation comes from Sir and i having a few misunderstandings. i know spanking me is something we B/both need. However with me being pregnant, Sir was extremely worried about even bringing it up. He was afraid that i would be pissed off, or offended somehow. i was beginning to worry that it was going to be like it was last pregnancy. And honestly that made me very sad. With our firstborn, rough play, and spanking stopped altogether. What Sir doesn't realize, is when He spanks me, he has a fire that burns within him. He has a passion that i had only seen when we were teenagers. Don't get me wrong, i have always been EXTREMELY satisfied. But at the same time, it always felt like something was missing. When things died down when W/we were younger, He figured that that was the end of it... But me being the masochist that i am, thrive on pain, and was going to get it one way or another.

Anyway... i told him, that spanking me is extremely good for both of us. And He did agree.... so last night, He met His littlemiss again

Monday February 4, 2008

This was after 26 swats with my Cane, countless swats with Red, many with Sir's ever loving Hand, and The Paddle. Even as i type this 14 hours later, i can still feel the effects...

This was taken not even five minutes after my spanking. As you can see it has already begun to bruise. After being a bit awe struck that this is what "my" bottom looked like, i laughed at the one random verticle cane stripe.
i cried the hardest that i have ever cried after a spanking this session. But letting out the tears, also let me release any hurt that i have been having, and pain, and fear. And i melt everytime Sir holds me after He has finished, and tells me that He is proud. His love amazes me sometimes...


i have mentioned in my last post about enjoying wax play. Sir asked me when he called earlier that evening, if we had any dark colored candles. i was a bit confused, but listed off a number of colors of candles that i have. And i asked why. And He told me that He wanted it to show up on camara... i automatically got really excited.... He always knows what buttons to push
Sir loves to pour hot wax over my already warmed bottom. He almost laughs at me everytime he does it, becuase He tells me it looks like i am going to have a spontanious orgasm... *giggle* and well it's true. i am just glad that he has learned to appreciate the art of wax, and learned to love it as much as me.

A candid shot of Sir... He was laying down on the bed. And Honestly i didn't think He was actually going to take it...

Sir asked me if i wanted some on my tits. i couldn't help but say yes. Since that is where i started so many years ago on my own.... it was absolutely amazing!

Full body shot.... i am not sure why Sir takes pictures like this sometimes... other than He loves them...lol

Candid shot of me... that isn't the only "shot" of the evening as you soon will see...


Sir absolutely loves to see me like this. i asked him why once, and He told me because of the humiliation factor... i have never been embarrassed to have semen on my face... especially His... lol

This one makes me laugh too... becuase he told me he had to get a side shot because there was some dripping off my chin... lol Some of Sir's best work... *giggle*

So hopefully W/we are getting back into the 'swing' of things... *giggle* i don't know how we are going to manage when my pregnancy progresses and i can't bend over the bed any more... but i am sure W/we will manage somehow...

Thank you, Sir, for being everything that i have ever wanted, and need. Thank you for helping me become who i am today... i love you very much ♥

just a note for my favorite lurkers... <3

Yes i know it has been quite some time since i have posted... It doesn't go without reason. Sir and i had to completely stop any, and all play, and sex alltogether. i had some spotting with the pregnancy on Christmas eve, and needed an emergency ultrasound. Everything is ok, when we went in, our little sweet potato had grown double it's size in two weeks. i had to have an early ultrasound becuase of my history of ectopic pregnancy. So even though everything was ok, W/we have to treat this pregnancy as high risk, therefore sex at all was completely prohibited. This has put a great strain on Sir and i, especially on my behalf i am completely ashamed to say... If any of you have had to deal with pregnancy hormones, be it you were pregnant, or your parnter was, you know how intense they can be. And no of any kind for the remainder of this the first and most crucial trimester, was worse torture than Sir has ever given me...

But alas, i am but only human, and so is Sir... (even though he imagines himself superman and i indulge him most days) temptation was just a bit too much after a long deep seeded discussion that W/we had yesterday. i will not bore you with O/our boring relationship details, but i think a spark lit, and something clicked...

i went out with a friend today. we went out to see a movie, and pretty much just have girl time. Not something i as a stay-at-home mom get too often. Well, Sir called me about the time that he gets to the parking lot of His work, and talked to me a little bit, and told me to call him around midnight when He would be home. To this i say ok. There is no reason to be suspicious that something is going on. It takes me three hours from when he calls me, to take my friend home, and get back to our small town. i didn't tell him, but after i dropped off my friend, i hiked up my skirt in the car, and took off my bra and shirt, and carefully aroused myself, knowing that He would be waiting when i got home.

When i got home however, i was greeted with a uniformed Sir, in his *NEW* work uniform. *grin* He told me that he snuck out of work an hour early, so he could come home and set a few things up, and clean a few things up (which at this point in my pregnancy i am absolutely extatic about! i come home to a clean house, He can do whatever He wants with me...lol). He takes me to the bedroom, where there are candles lit, and Him is playing in the background (him is managed to become our "session" music), and my collar and Red were laying on the neatly made bed. It absolutely took my breath away...

i quickly took off my everyday rope collar, to be replaced with the collar that Sir puts on when i become his littlemiss. And he took my breath away even more. He left for a moment, and i took the oppertunity to kneel on my pillow and wait for his return. i told him that i missed Him, as i do everytime W/we haven't scened for a long time. And since we have removed the frame to which O/our bed sits, it was perfect height for me to go right from kneeling to being bent over the bed.

The familiar sting of Red quickly came back to me as i heard and felt Her "crack" against the unworked skin of my bottom. i very quickly entered sub-space, and was on my spanking cloud-9. Again, and again She struck me, and the sting and the burn, went right to my poor wanting pussy...

After Sir was finished with Red, he decided to try something new, at least new for him. He took the candles, and poured the hot wax over my already burning bottom. i have been waiting for the day that He would decide that candle wax needed to be a part of O/our lives... i have always loved candle wax. To me there is something very sensual, and loving about somebody pouring hot candlewax onto you... Even when i was younger, i fantasized about somebody pouring candle wax over me. When he tipped the candle, and the wax hit my already burning skin, i almost had an instantanious orgasm. i didn't think my pleasure at that point could be heightened anymore than i was at that point. Until he poured more...

i do appologize i have no pictures for this session. Sir didn't feel the need to take any... but there is an update at anyrate... Happy spanking
~the little miss <3

with sickness among us, it has been difficult to get a spanking

i know again it has been a little while since my last post. i have again been riddled with infections of various kinds. Whereas the first two were connected the last one was strep. However in amongst all this yuckiness, Sir and i do have some absolutely wonderful news. After having an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy removed in september, W/we have recently discovered that we are pregnant again! So with that said, the severity of my spankings may or may not lessen with time, as i get bigger. And will keep all of you posted with how W/we (and the little) are doing.

and now for the reason that your here!!!

November 14, 2007

This night we again were toying with our new book. This is also the night that i am certain that our newest little one was concieved *grin*

W/we didn't quite have enough rope to make this look like it was supposed to. But i think it looks great none the less.

This session lasted about an hour. And if you look you can see the stripes of my cane. Which i am hoping Sir will use more of, just because it is biggest infliction of pain, with the lowest impact. He has decided that we will have to shelf His belt, just because the impact is so great. It makes me a little sad to have to say goodbye to His belt for so long. But at the same time there are other things that i can get better aquainted with *grin*

This was one of the very first times that Sir used the new wooden paddle on me. It is quite different than the floppy leather one that Sir usually uses on me. It is not my favorite, but i don't hate it either.

Wednesday November 28, 2007


This night was the hardest Sir has ever spanked me. This session lasted for two hours. Sir started with my cane. i took 30 with Him, and then Sir moved onto Red.

After the 30 that i recieved with The Cane, i slowly started to enter sub-space. Sir usually tries to get me to my "red light" point when He spanks me. But this session, i was so into the place where i go when i am recieving that amount of pain, that i didn't even notice what He was implementing me with, nor did i care.

With this picture, you can sort of see the severity of the spanking. After this session, my skin was very taught, and felt like a sunburn. The little red circle that you see is a pair of my anal beads that Sir loves to insert.

This is my favorite picture this session. You can't really see any Cane lines, because they were all covered with the swats of Red. They seemed to go on what felt like forever. And the only reason i wanted to stop was because i NEEDEED Sir to fuck me. Which he did after i begged him to.


And Sir's favorite shot. i know today i have multiple bruises in certain spots. And it is a bit hard to sit today. Which makes me grin in secret. i have no pictures of that because Sir had to leave early for work to send out his resume for a new job... *crosses fingers*

And with a silent sting, it struck me, and i was in awe

Tuesday November 13, 2007

i know that i very rarely put up my pics the same day that i get them, but i am extremely excited about the ones that we took tonight. my cane came in. It showed up today while my in-laws were here. Oh the torture!! Just to go through all of that anticipation all day long, knowing that when we got home later, that It was waiting for me. Just to know that my level of masochism was again going to go up, was a very exhilerating experience.

Sir layed me down over the bed. i was a bit unsure, my heart raced, not knowing what kind of pain i was about to endure. The first swat, was a sweet silent sting. i am more used to Red, my crop, which has a 'whoosh' sound before She strikes me. This was delightfully different.

W/we have started learning the very wonderful art of rope bondage, as taught by Dan, and JD [Two Knotty Boys]. i know this is my spanking log, but bondage comes into play with Sir and i quite a bit. And what we are learning, is useful, asthetically pleasing, it is safe, and it works beautifully. If you are into bondage, i do suggest their book.

Tonight was the first night in at least two weeks, that W/we have done anything that comes close to relieving my tension... i have been pretty miserable without the familiar sting of something on my bottom. Well.. i needed to put this pic up, because i like to be asthetically pleasing too... *grin*

i am not certain how long this session lasted, i even lost count on how many swats Sir was giving me. i felt awful, becuase with something as monumental as the cane is in all spanking, be it for punishment or other wise, i felt like i should have made sure i knew the number of swats. i always do that with my favorite implements, asked or not.

i asked Sir how many, shaking pretty badly because i was crying pretty hard from the pain, and from all of the things that i needed to let out. He told me that it was more than 25. i must remind you, that this O/our first time using a cane, and it will be a learning process for both of us. And i am certain, like all things Sir does, that this is just training, and leading up to full force.

And i don't think that for my very first time, i did too bad. i used to think that the marks that i have recieved tonight, were too brutal for me to manage, and handle. i now hope to be able to achieve marks that look much worse. To be able to increase the strength, and decrease the number of swats that i can manage.

Only after a half an hour, the redness of the swats went away, but what was left are these beautiful welts. You can't see how far above my skin that they are raised, but it is a lot further than anything else that i have experienced. Even as a child. Along with the rope that was once my restraint.

They are not bruised now, and i don't think that these themselves will. But Sir reassures me, that He will be able to make them bruise. And i know full well that He is correct.

Thank you very much Sir, for making me feel so alive. i know right now things haven't been the easiest, and i want to do all that i can to make it better... i will love you until the end of my days... ~your little miss

and after a few mishaps, we are back into action...

whew... it has been a long time since i have posted. But not because i didn't want to. Sir has pretty much gotten back to normal, and we could resume in the darker side of ourselves.

Thursday November 8 2007

i have no pictures for this occasion, because i had accidentally left the camara at my mom's house when we took pictures for halloween (man i hope none of my family tried to look at those...). Anyway. Sir had been feeling bad lately, so i figured that i would cheer him up some. i put on my new boots, and gloves, laid out all of the implements, made him a drink, and turned everything off in the house.

i went to the bedroom, lit three candles, and turned on some HIM, and kneeled on my pillow beside the bed to wait for him. i was not sure of his reaction when he walked in the door. But it felt like he thought that i was already in bed, and asleep. He was surprised to see me however holding out for Him, my collar. He took it from me, and smiled, and turned it around for me to kiss. i always do so with great passion. As i love the fact that i am owned. And after i kiss it he does the same, and i wait to be buckled in.

Sir proceeded to spank me with our various implements, and even a few new ones i decided would be fun to try. Like for example my vent brush. i liked the way it sounded in the air, and i liked the sting. (But Sir would prefer a wooden one, which i don't know how we are going to find.) And a ping-pong paddle. i liked the sound of that more than anything else. It had a really nice 'Crack' to it. But again not to Sir's liking.

So early the next morning, He bought me my cane!!! ^.^ i am extremely excited. Sir has spanked me with a dowel rod before, and then, i didn't like the thought of bruising. i think of them a bit differently now. It should be here tuesday...

So now we are up to date with all of that. On to the pictures!!!

Sunday november 11, 2007
If you have not guessed it already, i don't mind my dark side to show quite a bit. i consider myself a goth. This can lead to some pretty interesting things, both in, and out of the bedroom. And i had recieved a question a while back about if Sir let me wear panties. Well to answer your question, Sir lets me wear whatever i want. He likes my indivuality, along with my submission. In that respect, he wants no control over me, even though he knows he could have it if he wanted, and there are times that i do ask him what he wants me to wear when i am not certain.

This was my 'halloween costume'. i only say that because depending on what outfit i am wearing, i may put on the horns, just to see what kind of looks i get.

Tonights session was only a handspanking, due to the fact that my cane should be coming in shortly. i must admit, that Sir has progressed in using his hand then he used to be. And i love the color that He can make my bottom, just by his hands.

Aah, the boots picture. Sir has always had a big fascination with boots. He likes seeing them, almost as much as i love wearing them. And With the new rope bondage that we are learning by the two knotty boys book (http://www.twokottyboys.com/), the boots help the rope not dig in, and they look good too.

i absolutely love when Sir takes this pic. It is extremely symbolic to me. And the only reason He doesn't have his wedding band on, is because he gives it to me for safe keeping.

A better picture of my horns... *giggle* guess that makes me the horny one doesn't it?

i tried to smile for Him after we were finished, but i was a bit sore... but that is the way we like it...

And we have been put on hold...

So i know i have not posted anything in quite some time... it seems Sir and i have been put on a bit of a hiatus... even though i really wish we wouldn't be... The 28th of October, He was diagnosed with bell's palsy. It is an infection of the nerve, and the entire left side of his face was pretty much disabled. He had to wear an eye patch for a while, because he couldn't close his eye. So with that in mind, he really didnt' want to implement me, for my safety. Hopefully He will be up for it tonight... i haven't worn my collar for it's main purpose in more than a week... :-( Also we have all been sick, and that doesn't make for a good session either... "WAIT!!! I AM DROWNING IN MY OWN MUCUS!!!" not my idea of sexy... >.< so hopefully things will be up and running again shortly... i feel myself slipping away into depression without it...

i am beautiful masochism

i know it has been a few days... but as i have said before, i like to wait for two days spankings to post... so without any further adieu...

Thursday October 18, 2007

This session, was really more "for the fun of it" thank anything else... There was really nothing that i had on my mind that needed to be relieved... and sometimes i just need a spanking for the excitement of a spanking. Simple as that.

This night the session only lasted about half an hour. Just because it was not about tears, or the pain of it. Just to get me a little warm. There was added excitement, as we used a bit of light bondage. (Sir won't tell you, but he is horrible with rope. Which is why i have cuffs on my wishlist... )

As you can see, i am "bound to please" There is no greater feeling than knowing that Sir could leave me alone, bound and to my own devices. Which he did. He tied my hands, and feet to gether, and inserted my favorite vibrator, and LEFT THE ROOM!!! i smiled because i had mentioned this as a punishment for somebody else... and He turned it on me... He wasn't gone for long, but just the fact that he could have left me alone for hours... i felt so helpless... there was absolutely nothing that i could do... but it was very exciting.

CWL (collared with love) is what is written on my wrist. Earlier that day W/we had gone to see Sir's father for dinner. and my collar, as much as i love to wear it in public, is not appropriate for the in-laws to view. oh that rememinds me...

i really wish the general public would know a collar when they see one... it is not a 'necklace' it is not dainty, nor is it for decoration (even though it matches everything i own). It is there to prove ownership, and i wear it to please him... grrr... ok i am done...

Sunday, October 21 2007

This nights session was very severe, although only lasted for 45 minutes. i really needed a hard spanking this time, and i don't really understand why. i needed tears, and pain... i needed to HURT. i have been a little off lately, a little sad, a little scared...

This nights session, i recieved quite a hard spanking, even though the session only lasted 45 minutes. Thirty one with the belt, along with a very hard handspanking, and the crop. There are times that when i am being spanked, that is the only thing that is real to me, is that sting. That amongst all the black, for a moment there is a flash of red, that later becomes shades of bruise. The rest of the world could fall down around me, as long as i can feel that sting, i am invincible. i am ALIVE.

i love pictures like these... Sir's hand, over my warm red, bottom. He has started this thing, where He puts his wedding band on my finger so it doesn't get lost... which is why it isn't on His finger.

Sir also, when we are in the midst of the passion, that is an inevitability to follow my spankings, where he will scrape his finger nails over my welts and bruising, that just makes the experience so much more exhuburent.

i guess this session proved to me, that my masochism is not something that i can run away from. It isn't something that i can go to a shrink and talk about to make it go away. i can't bottle it up, and pretend that it doesn't exist. Am i an addict? i suppose i am. But the only way that i know to feel better. is to stoicly take a severe beating, and then be held by Sir, while i cry on his shoulder and he tells me that i am His good little girl. That i am so obediant, and He is so very proud of me, for growing like i have been, and taking what He gives me...

Thank you Sir, for all that You give me... i feel sometimes like i ask for too much, but you give it all to me... i love you... <3

Ok, so i usually wait for two session to post. But it has been a while since i posted anything of value. (well besides my major one *grin*) so i figured that i would post... happy viewing. ~tlm{TBB}

Monday October 15, 2007

i love presenting my collar for Him. i do it happily, and with love and respect. And i know i get the same in return. Before Sir puts it on, like many of the implements we use, He presents it to me to kiss. Even when i am home alone, and wear it around the house, i kiss it with as much love as if it were Sir himself. This is one of the greatest treasures i own....

i love presenting my collar to Him. It is a vow of trust, of love. Down on my knees, looking up at Him, holding the very thing that binds us as Dom, and sub. It is a very liberating feeling. When He puts it around my neck, and hooks me in, i become his littlemiss, and everything in the world just melts away. He takes hold of my will, and i very gladly give it to him.

Property of The Big Bad... i have noticed that when i go out, i walk taller, my smile is bigger, and i feel good about myself. Sir asked me the other day, if i liked being collared. And i didn't know exactly how to answer him. I looked at him, and all i could say was "yes... very much"

It may not look like much of anything at all, and this nights session wasn't really about pain too much. Even though i got belted. i have to smile at my bruises that are still there, from a week ago... *grin*

mmmm... perfectly round supple warmed bottom.... belted and cropped. *shudders with pleasure*

This picture is a bit humiliating... never have i been put on display like this.......

Thank you Sir! You alone have shown me my potential, and made me see who i can be. i am a better person because of you... i love you... *hearts*

a few words of discouragement...

i know i don't usually write in my blog, for it is a photo log of my spankings, so both Sir, and i can keep track. But there is something that is on my mind tonight that pertains to the pair of us.

Let me first say, that when Sir started taking pictures, he told me that i was to start a log of my spankings. How long, with what... etc etc... I had seen one from over his shoulder, online, so i figured i could make Him proud by putting myself on display for any, and all to see. And i know i make Him extremely proud, because He is constantly sending people to see it... and it makes me smile to know that He is proud to show me off.

Well when i got home this evening, he had told me that one of the subs on the chat that we regular yelled at him, because apparently my blog is the exact same as hers. Needless to say, i was horrified. What i put on my blog, is of my own testimonials, thoughts and feelings about spanking as a whole. And i guess she said that the pictures were the same... well *duh* how many ways can one display a warmed red ass?! i am proud of who i am, that i have somebody that cares for me enough, to give me the things that i want, and need.

It seems that it is an ongoing theme with me. i share something, or Him, and somebody gets all 'holier than though', or all high and mighty because "He doesn't know what He's doing", or because we "don't have the right kind of relationship" This has happened twice before. Either out of jealousy, or because i didn't hold out on my end of the bargain... i am so tired, of people judging U/us! If you have the address to this sight, it is because one of us thought you were mature enough to view, and knew what you were getting into, and not judge.

Again i do appologize for my lack of pictures tonight... but i really needed to get off my mind... thank you for understanding... ~tlm{TBB}

Thursday October 11, 2007

"I promise to be fair, and never harm you. I promise to be benevolent, in my spankings. I promise you the pain that you need, and the passion that you want..."

"i promise to give myself to you freely, whenever you ask, and even when you don't. i will be bound to you for the rest of my days... i love you... "

Words spoken tonight at my collaring ceremony. *smile* Sir and i had done it before, when we started our M/s relationship almost 6 years ago... but we were young, and naiive, and the collar was of questionable quality. However, we both knew the this time how serious being collared actually is. And this time, i gave myself to him safely, sanely, and consentually.

Never again will i have to wear a ribbon around my neck to prove ownership. This is the last time you will see me with it... *kisses ribbon* you have treated me well...

The tears that you see, are not from pain. The tears that you see, are from the joy that i have that Sir loves me enough to claim me. To call me His own... To be able to trust Him that much, that i can give myself to him, body mind and soul. It is beautiful...

As it says: Collared with Love October 11, 2007

Tonights session didn't even last 10 minutes i am certain... He shaved me, and right out of the tub, He took me to the bedroom. So my bottom was still wet. And the sting was pretty phenominal...

Sir always lays out all of the implements, even if they aren't going to be used. The things to my right were. This looks like all of the other pictures that i have however, my collar, acting as a second wedding ring, is tightly around my neck... <3>

The two things that Sir loves to use the most... i think the paddle is His favorite, and His braided belt is mine... i smile everytime he gets ready for work, because he started wearing it to work. He told me tonight, that he thinks about me everytime he touches it... again i smile.

Sir, you have made me the happiest girl in the world this day. Today i have given you something that will be nobody else's. i have given you my will. Thank you... i love you with all that i am, and can exist because all that you have made me. i love you... <3

Thank you Sir, may i have another?

i am pleased to say, that my post today, is much better than the last one. Even as i type, i am sitting on a STILL very sore bottom. Let me show you why...

Tuesday October 2, 2007
This night, i asked Sir for special attention. i have been extremely depressed, and thinking about things that i have no control over. The night before, i was in quite the mood, and i felt really bad about it. So this day, i got up at 7 with our daughter, and cleaned the whole house, and made a wonderful dinner to make up for it. Even though i didn't feel any better... If you look to my right, you can see my new favorite implement... <3>

This session lesson lasted more than an hour. Sir spanked me with his hand at first. Then i recieved a special treat. i recieved a braided leather belt, and my ever loving crop on top of that. i don't know how many of anything else i got, but i recieved 33 swats with the belt.

As you can probably tell, i really needed to cry this session. i pushed myself WAY over my limit. When i usually would call "yellow", i was still going green. Sir told me he was very proud of me this time. And i am very proud of him, too. We were both stronger than usual.

These are pictures that i can be proud of. Very unlike the last ones i posted. Sir was very proud of me too...

This is the hardest that i have ever been spanked in my entire life. But it was VERY needed, and VERY wanted. And it makes me smile a little, to know that i can take it.

You can see the welts already starting to form... which will later become bruises.

Aah, the beautiful marks, that i have to hide underneath my clothes...

i smile everytime i have to sit down in public, and i feel that pain. It is kind of like a trophy that i have won, but only Sir and i know about it.

The sting of my spankings, always goes away way too fast... but bruising i can hold onto... Sir always asks if i like them. And i have never been able to lie to Him. So i honestly tell him yes... [Sir, now you know why]

Thank you, Sir... i love you with every fiber of my being... anything you want... it's yours....

i like to earn my oil

Lately, i have been horribly depressed. And there is really only one way sometimes to make me cry....

Sunday September 30, 2007

This session, i needed so much more than Sir gave me... and i am so ashamed, it doesn't even look like he swatted me at all... but the session lasted for about an hour, and recieved his hand at first, then got the paddle. Sir was going to stop after that, but i told him that i was really hoping for the crop that night. So he was glad that i told him.

If you look really hard, you can see the individual crop marks. And i still have bruises from the belt...

i must admit, there is no feeling like being bent over with a warm bottom, holding the implement that was lovingly used to warm it... even if it doesn't look like much...

Thank you Sir... hopefully pictures will be better next time... i'm sorry.. i love you

So i couldn't sit right for a while...

i know, i haven't updated in a few days... Sir and i have been a bit busy with various things, and he understands... however, just because i haven't updated, doesn't mean my bottom has been cold, and untouched... quite the contrary.

Wednesday September 26, 2007

As you can see, there are bruises on my bottom from the belting that i had recieved two days prior. you can't see it, but they are raised a good deal above the surface of my skin, making it a bit difficult to sit right.

i know this picture has nothing to do with my bottom, or even spanking in general. Sir tells me all the time that he is very proud of me... i hope my ribbon will soon be replaced by a new collar...

As you can see, i am smiling. This particular session didn't last as long as some of the others, nor was it anywhere near as brutal. i did cry however just because i got Sir's hand over my bruising, which tends to smart quite a bit.

i am not a bragger, in the least, but i think i realize why Sir is so proud of me... taking a hard spanking, and can still smile, and fuck him after... were i my Domme, i would be proud of me too...

Thursday September 27, 2007

This day, Sir didn't want me to think that i was going to go too long without a red bottom, because even as much it is for the cleansing of my emotion, i can enjoy it a great deal as well.

i do not recall how long this session lasted, or how many swats i recieved. But i do know that i revieved quite a bit of the paddle. Sir always pushes me to the limit, and when i think i can take no more, he asks if i can go for a little more. i have yet to tell him no. Even though i cried this time, i was pleasantly surprised by what i was able to take...

i like these two pictures, they turned out really well. the heat eminates off of my bottom, like the fire that it felt like. And it was wonderful!

Thank you Sir, for all that you do for me. i love you with my entire being. i love you

some teary rememberances

Sunday September 23,2007

This night, was pretty much a routine spanking. Mostly with the hand. It was a 45 minute session, and i took more than 100 swats. i lost count somewhere after that... Sir always goes so fast, and my head is usually spinning...

my bottom is very sore in this picture. i still had bruises from the night before. the cool air from the air conditioner running over my freshly spanked skin, made it burn even more.

i am totally, and completely at Sir's mercy. He owns me, body, mind, soul, and will.

Tears are still falling down my face. But i am free... i have never felt so liberated.... and i love him so much for it.

Sir loves this picture. He tells me that even though he can see the pain, he can also see the love that i have for him...

Monday September 24, 2007

There are no pictures for tonight... Sir really didn't even want me to post anything for tonight... But it was done, so i need to post it...

i have been thinking a lot about our tragedy, which i care not to discuss. i was extremely sad, and very envious of some of my friends that are pregnant, and others that have had no problems with pregnancy...

So Sir had me across his lap on the couch. And he knew that i needed something other than the usual. Well about 20 minutes into it, i yelled at him... i was ashamed as soon as i yelled. i couldn't even look at him. He took me to the bedroom, and told me that he knew that i was sorry. I appologized profusely... He also told me that he wasn't going to punish me, be i did owe his something for my disrespect. By this time, i was already bawling out of control. i didn't know how he could even look at me, much less touch me... but he told me again, that i did owe him something. He asked me if i could take ten with the belt. I was crying so hard at the shame, that i could only nod my head. i didn't think i could, but i did. i couldn't even count out loud... but i took all ten of them...

When Sir oiled my bottom, there were already welts forming, and they were already black and blue... i know i deserved them. And he forgave me... he held me for a long time after. Just telling me how much he loved me. And i know he does...

Thank you, Sir... i will do anything to please you...

I have never felt so alive

I am still trying to get caught up... hopefully, i will get all caught up before Sir comes home from work...

Thursday September 20, 2007

This night, i wouldn't rest until we found my beloved riding crop. Thankfully, it wasn't too hard to find. I was euphoric when i felt that first familiar sting. Befre Sir uses any of the impliments that i get spanked with, he makes me kiss it. i kiss my crop gladly.

Sir always lets me see the pictures, after we have finished. It may not look like much, but after this session, it was a bit difficult to sit.

"To: Sir, with love" Sir loves to mark me, in many ways. After the crop (which i will have to name), he gave me his ever loving hand.

This is my "red". We use the stoplight system. Periodically throughout the spanking, Sir will ask me "what color?"

Green: my pain isn't bad

Yellow: my pain is getting worse, but i can take more

Red: i can take no more, and need to stop

This particular session, i kept the tears in for as long as i could. i only teared a little for my crop. i tested my limits this night, and Sir was very proud of me. i love making him proud.

my Sire, my husband, my lover, and friend. What more could a sub ask for?

Saturday September 22, 2007

Today, i was not home all day. i missed him very much. i sent him a test message early in my day without him "*Dreaming of a red bottom*" When i got home, i took me to the bedroom, and this is what i found... This is the most romantic thing anybody has done for me. It warmed my heart, as he would soon do the same to my bottom.

Sir had me kneel down on a pillow, to be ribboned. It will have to due until my new collar comes in. i know what is ahead, and am very thankful. This is exactly what i had been missing. There had been something that i was longing for, and i had thought that i was doing something wrong in my lovemaking. But now, i no longer feel that way. i feel much closer to him. And i wouldn't trade him for the world.

As he lays me down with my the impliments of our trade, i can't help but smile. i can't wait for my bottom to be warmed.

This session lasted an hour. i recieved smacks with a dildo, my crop, his hand, the leather paddle, and the belt. i do not know how many smacks i recieved with anything but the belt. i always count how many i get with the belt. It was 10. i cried a lot this time. The paddle was more than i remembered...

"Bend over and grab your ankles little miss!"

"Yes Sir.. " i am still sobbing quite a bit, and shaking as well. my bottom is still very sore.

Thank you very much Sir... i have never felt so alive...

My new aspect on my old lifestyle

Hello. My name is thelittlemiss. I am a collared wife, so much in love with my Sire... We have always been into spanking, and bondage. When we were younger, we tried out the Master/slave thing, which neither of us enjoyed. He then went on to be my "Daddy". We role played a lot, and i would sass sometimes, to get the beating that i felt that i "Deserved".

Well spanking in general came to almost a complete hault when i got pregnant with our first child. He would still spank me. but the severety, and accurances died out to almost completely nothing. I being a masochist, reverted back to cutting, when things got bad.

Util recently, i was ok, until a crisis struck. I became severly depressed. And then one night as we lay there in bed, the topic of spanking came up again. I had told him that i could go for a warm bottom, and without warning, he rolled me over, and spanked me... hard.. I felt so free, so alive. The stinging of my ass, as repeatedly his hand struck the bare flesh of my ass, was very cleansing... it made me feel alive. The tears that i wept that night, were from pain, but more importantly, they let me release the emotion that i was feeling for my loss. The anger, the hurt, the depression... all went away with the stinging i felt. It was the first time, that he had given me his full force...

That night we decided together, that i needed serious spankings, on a daily basis. And Sir told me that with the pictures that he took, i was to make a log... i hope to please him with it... I love you Sir...

Tuesday September 18, 2007

This is the first day we started taking pictures. I don't recall how long, nor do i remember how many... but Sir spanked me to tears. Not because i was 'bad' or 'naughty', but just because i needed to 'vent'...

i look over my shoulder at him, tears still in my eyes... "Thank you Sir... "

i know i need this. And i know he loves me very much. I thank him, that he loves me enough to allow me the pain that i need to survive...

Wednesday September 19, 2007

This day i was severely depressed, and needed Sir's full force...

And then i got the belt...

This is all for now... Sir i hope i have pleased you...